inspire

a playwright that i have grown to admire and respect gave me a rock with that word on it. and i am inspired, by so many things and so many people. it would be impossible to hear all that tina howe has said over the last three days and NOT be inspired. she's made me want to write and play and paint and sing and create.

i don't know what to do with this inspiration. there is so much i want to do and make and be, but i feel so confined by my lack of abilities and my ignorance and my schedule. why couldn't this inspiration - this itch, this need that i have - come when i had time to actually do something about it? would i have done anything about it if it had? probably not. i want to make something beautiful but i am too afraid of what people will think and what i will think and that it won't ever be good enough.

"i am a fatal victim of multiple fascination."

its probably just because i've been studying him lately, but it seems like tom stoppard has a quote for everything i'm feeling these days.